Looking for something in an old box stored away, I came across a few prayer journals. I started looking through them. One from November 1996, made me smile. I don’t usually do this, but I thought I’d share what I just read from it, a prayer/poem I wrote to the Lord fourteen years ago.
***
Thinking about how God called Himself “I AM.” God’s name for Himself seems to me like an unfinished statement. “I Am”… What? I desire to know Him truly and entirely for who He is. Jesus of the Gospels is in glory. I can’t see Him as He really is. Not yet. So, I must become intimately comfortable with Mystery. His intimate presence is real and I want to know Him for real — but can I? How? He remains so much of a mystery.
He is everywhere. He is within me. Yet He seems to be absent.
I think His language is less words and more action. When I settle comfortably into Mystery, am I really with Him? Am I “In heavenly places, seated with Christ Jesus?” What an amazing mystery is that?
He is Divine Loving Mystery. Yet, He has revealed Himself to me through Creation, the life of Jesus, the Bible, and His involvement in my life.
I long to know Him more.
Divine Loving Mystery,
Oh, how I long for You
Are your eyes sky blue?
Are they clear and deep loving pools?
Your face is mystery.
What about your voice — for true?
What gentle, soothing sound floats downstream of Your loving heart
Carried by tone and inflections?
I know in hearing them, I’d know You
Sometimes silent in strength You speak, yes, this too
I long for the human melody of Your mouth
Even if it’s scolding firmness to hold me close
And is there a voice not human in sound
That would roar or thunder more appropriate speech?
Your voice is mystery.
And, what of your gait when You walk?
Oh, what I’d give to watch you along Your way!
How does one follow in Your shadow today?
Passing among people, intent with purpose, You’d go
Sometimes are your shoulders bent?
Or, do You always carry the world with ease?
Straight and held back – confident and able?
Is Your stride determined?
Sometimes when You are passing, do You linger and watch?
Are our troubles too painful that You must stop to stare?
Do you reach out and touch and care?
Because of our choices do You steadily press on?
Have you ever even run?
How do You walk among us, Divine Loving Mystery?
And, what would I do, if suddenly here You stood?
Before me, everything I ever wanted or dreamed; yet beyond all, You’d be
Oh, Divine Loving Mystery, I know I’d be undone
So, really, I’m afraid for You to come
I’ll wait then, until it is time, both content and longing for You,
Divine Loving Mystery, I love You.
***
A while ago, I pondered how Moses asked God, at the site of the “burning bush” what His name was, so he could tell his people in Egypt who was sending him to deliver them from bondage. Well, God’s answer was “I AM” – meaning “I Exist”…
We all have names because somebody named us. Nobody named God because He always existed. I’ve wondered if it was that simple. With God, things are at once simple and complex. After all, how can we wrap our minds around the fact that He always existed? That’s mystery too.
Christian Book Author Margaret Montreuil's Blog 
This summer has been one that has made God and the teaching of Jesus even more mysterious then I ever knew. I lost my sister in a terrible battle with cancer. It was a battle I thought was already won by my Lord. I thought He had told us so. But she went home with Him. His mystery is wonderful and joyous and painful all in one. Thank you for your words. They brought some sort of comfort.
Dearest sister,
It’s hard when such painful sorrow attacks our hearts, minds, and threatens to diminish even our faith in what we think the Lord will do, when we’ve done all we can to stand and believe… I pray the Lord will comfort you like only He can do. He is sad with you. He hates death — but he knows that death is not so final. I think of how he wept when He saw Mary’s sorrow and then He�raised Lazarus for her. Her pain at once became His pain. Love In Him, Margaret